On ne peut pas oublier

What Do You Have To Say? - Take A Load Off

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 03:46:45 GMT

How do you relax after a hard day of work?

Brought to you by HP

I dont know. I sit in bed with my feet up in the air and count to one thousand while humming a happy tune. hmm is that possible. i don't think you can hum and count in your head at the same time...

Mon, 31 Dec 2007 19:42:21 GMT

I confess that in 2007 I...

( ) stayed single for the whole year
( ) got your first kiss
(x) kissed someone new
( ) made-out for the first time
(x) made-out in/on a car
(x) kissed in the snow
( ) celebrated Halloween
(x) kissed in the rain
( ) fell in love
( ) had your heart broken
( ) broke someone else's heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) mooned someone
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) gotten someone else pregnant
( ) had an abortion
( ) gotten married
( ) had a divorce
(x) dated someone you'll never forget
(x) done something you've regretted
( ) lost your true love
( ) lost faith in love
( ) kissed under mistletoe

WORK/SCHOOL
( ) got a promotion
(x) got a pay raise
( ) changed jobs
(x) waited until one day before to begin a project
( ) lost your job
( ) quit your job
( ) dated a co-worker
( ) dated your boss
( ) dated your boss' daughter/son
( ) got fired from your job
(x) took an honors/advanced class
(x) broke the dress code
( ) jacked off/fingered in class
( ) sent to the principles office for misbehavior
(x) got straight A's
(x) met one teacher you really like
( ) met one/a few teacher you really hated
( ) failed a class
(x) cut class
( )kicked someone in the testes
(x) skipped school
( ) got into a fight with a classmate
(x) did something you were proud of
(x) discovered a new talent
(x) gave the teachers a reason to teach
( ) proved yourself an idiot
( ) embarrassed yourself in front of the class
( ) fell in love with a teacher
( ) intentionally tripped someone at school
( ) got lead in the school play
(x) made a varsity team
(x) were involved in something you'll never forget

OTHER
(x) painted a picture
( ) wrote a poem
(x a few) ran a mile
(x) seen a live concert
(x) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(x) listened to music you couldn't stand
(x) double-dipped
( ) skinny-dipped
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
( ) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
(x) flirted shamelessly
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) broke in a line of waiting people
(x) volunteered to help out others
( ) told someone you were busy when you weren't
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
( ) driven the car drunk
( ) lost something important to you
( ) smoked a cigarette
(x) lied about how old you were
( ) got a gift you adore
(x) got 'shit faced' on alcohol
( ) took a nude picture of yourself
( ) almost got arrested
( ) prank called someone
( ) saw a college football game in person

Today is the last day of the year two thousand and seven. Um it was a great year.
I really think 2008 will be an even better year in different ways.

So some resolutions for the upcoming year:

1. write on my lj more but make the entries friends only or private. It's fun to read back to what youve written. I realized anyone in the whole universe could read this stuff so non-public entries would be just great.
2. work harder in school so i can get REALLY good grades instead of just good ones with little effort.
3. train smart and dont ignore injuries.
4. run sub 5:20 for the mile, sub 2:30 for the 800, run sub 11 for the 3k ... etc.
5. eat healthier so i could actually run that well.
6. speak up in class.
7. form actual opinions
8. learn more about the world.
9. read books that aren't assigned
10. play the guitar
11. get more than 500 in tips this summer
12. make money
13. give people gifts and write letters
13.5. get over this cold asap

hm we'll see.

Winter Break

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 18:15:36 GMT

This break is going very well. I'm very relaxed and just run, play and eat all day which is pretty much the life.
I also can't wait to go back to binghamton on the 11th. :D
And then for the semester to begin on the 26th?
awesome awesome awesome

Um

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:36:03 GMT

I wonder what would happen if you made a wish at 11:11.11 on 11/11/11, and there was a shooting star, and you were holding a four leaf clova

=o!!

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 04:21:21 GMT

Holy moly i cant believe it!!
Somehow i got an A in english. A freaking A. The highest possible grade. In english. With 1 of the hardest professors. Woww. he must have really liked my portfolio. Haha oh my. I guess i really did work hard even if it was bc of extreme procrastination.
I have yet to find out my calc grade. i hope its an A too. but it wont be bc i got too distracted during finals week. oh well.

the end.

!!!!@#$%

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:10:01 GMT

That's it. 2007 has officially been the most ... 'eventful?'... year of my life. I'd what to call it. Holy moly. My last night in bing was definately memorable and obv not memorable but it mostly was and it was quite a fun time.
I got pretty good at being in the city 'alone' carrying heavy luggage with no wheels from port authority to grand central... to dobbs.
Uh. bye:)

Oy oy oy

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 08:36:45 GMT

I don't technically miss anything because everything is there.
GODAMNIT. GODMAN IT. GOD. DAMN. IT.
I feel really sad right now and of course i cannot figure out why.
There is the one thing that would make my life complete happiness. The one thing I need. It's so fucking hard to get though. Fuck you. You are making me miserable. Not miserable, but I could be more of me if i wasnt so hindered by this shit. You fucking shit i fucking hate you you ruin eveyrthing. EEEGGGHHHHAasggh. Too bad you cant know what i am talking about unless you are cool and you do. Well, fuck you fuck you fuck you i am going to win and you will die and i will finally be free and fuck you. I might be turning into a psycho. Not really.
So much has been going on in my life and i havent really told anyone except maybe gail because i dont trust people. I was brought up that way. Dont trust anyone only your immidiate family members. Alright. I dont tell them much either though. Fuck i wish i wasnt so reserved. I kind of really want to just post an autobiography of my life for these past two weeks. Nothing feels real. Sometimes i dont know what drives me to do things. I do think i am turning psycho. College does that to you. And money. Okay three things, college, money, and boys. The boys thing doesnt really turn you psycho but makes the psychoness come out. It's hard to have good feelings when you are turning psycho.
I am coming home sometime this week poss before friday. The only thing i am looking forward to is running in dobbs again, and doing the lifting workouts at the gym, and watching the team compete in indoor races. Everyhting about running is the complete opposite of everyhting that makes me psycho. When i run i am so sane. I am so free. There is nothing hindering me from running as best as i can. Running is where i can escape this psychoness reality bullshit fuck. Goddamn i love to run. And i have gotten a heck of a lot better at it during my time here at binghamton.
The two things that i am most thankful for aboiut being in bing are becoming better at running and becoming better at english.
I guess people make me nervous unless they are people who know everything about me, or mostly everything. It's hard to tell people things about yourself. Soemtimes you just gotta do it. People are dumb and cannot figure it out for themselves. It's how people are. Everyone is selfish. And only loves themselves. That only makes people even more psycho. It's okay though. If everyone is psycho, then whats psycho but normalness.
Uh fuck i decided to not study for this fucking calculus final. I'll just wing it. Who gives a fuck. I dont, so no one else will either.

I would ignore this post. I think im just going through some hormone inbalance in my body. Christmas is soon. And the hectic year which was 2007 will finally be over. 2008 better bring more peace in my life.

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:48:00 GMT

This had probably been the best finals week i will ever experience in my life. I <3 collge.
I am in the midst of writing my final take home for soc which is due in about 2 hours. It's not even tkaing me that long to write. I shouldve started it earlier. Ow. Hmmm okay. Yay..
I still dont know how im coming home for winter break. I know that im going to come back early though. Eeeh im so exitedd.

Fri, 07 Dec 2007 19:26:45 GMT

It's snowing so much i feel so jolly.
I thought things were going badly. But now the "things always turn out fine in the end" thing seems to have come back into my life. This is good.
I am excited to train this winter. I am excited for a lot. Things will be good and better than butter.
I still need to figure out how im coming home this break... hmm.

Ooh

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:23:25 GMT

This has been one hell of a year. 07. 2000 + 7.
Anyway, i feel dizzy and extremely fatigued. I still have to write my freaking analytic 6 page paper and finish the intro and epilogue to my english portfolio for tomorrow. And finish this bullshit french essay. Fuck i want this to be over so badly.
I really don't know how i am going to stay up all night doing this. Im running on few hours of sleep bc i like to fuck myself over. And also running on vault and skittles, which i think are whats causing the dizziness and fatigue. I wish i didnt care that much about making papers sound good. Or that i could make papers sound good with little effort. French papers, at least.
This is painful. I am going to sleep all day on friday.
This is what i wanted though. So i should stop complaining and just do it. There's all of life ahead of youu. Ahh. :)
I cant wait until life. I better go follow my life philosophy now.
Ugh classical music sucks. Is there any other type of music that is just music with no words on the radio. God.

-bye. :]

Damn

Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:47:53 GMT

I'm losing myself.
I know i can get this project done and i will and it will be good.
I need a break, but really i just need an extra week in college but without any classes.
I can't fully comprehend what is going on now. I need to slow down. I need to take it easy. But there's so little time.
People don't like me.
God.
Sometimes roommates can be really good at making you feel like shit.
But hey, someone's gotta do it.

Agh i just wish i was on top of everything now and this wouldn't be so difficult.

I am generally really happy with myself now. Somehow it works out. I guess it's because i know me. I wish other people knew me.

shit

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 04:48:51 GMT

I think i might be setting myself up for disaster.
I hope that somehow i'll be able to write all the fucking essays this week.
I wish i could write them all tonight and get it over and done with and be free.

On a different note, xc parties are awesome fun. Rubiks cube.

What i need to do now is stop thinking and start writing. Maybe in this state of mind i'll be capable of creating some great essays. Alright let's do thiss.

Im not bored

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 03:50:01 GMT

I like my life.

I just ate the most transfatty ice cream sandwhich but only the cookie part bc charmy ate the ice cream part. Mmhm.

I actually hope i get to come back early during break. I kinda like being here. :)

I feel like this is the end of the year, but it's not, it's only the end of the semester. There's still a whole new semester ahead and it is going to be better than the last.

Oh yeah i am not motivated to work tonight so i decided i just wont. I'll work very hard though on friday, saturday, and sunday on my english portfolio.

My legs are so sore. I love running and i love lifting and taking ice baths and rolling out and stretching.

The calculus test was good. I solved one page full of Integral questions and then after looking back at it i realized i had done all of them wrong. Some needed to have the inverse trig stuff done to them and others i forgot to find the denifite integral. It was all over the place but i fixed it. So i give my test to the teacher and she looks at all my answers and says wow paulina this is wonderful its beauutiful wow great job. then she looks at the last problem and she says that i solved it wrong (the area bounded by x not the area above the x axis) so she gives me the test back so i could re do it. This teacher is awesome. Shes a strange lady but she is just awesome.
The french test was pretty okay i think. I hate it when you spend like the whole test trying to fogure out one question and going back and forth back and forth and you just cant get it so you hand the paper in. Then as you are walking outside the room in the hallway the answer comes to you, Aha! But at this point it's too late. Why does that happen. It's dumb. Oh well.

:) :) :) :) c'est tout.

Everything is so great

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 02:48:51 GMT

Earlier this week (as in, yesterday) i felt really overwhelmed with all the work im supposed to do before dec. 7th. I made a list.
What I need to do:

-    Write the 6 page analytic paper on Antigone
-    Write the 6 page research paper on immigration
-    Write the 2 page French paper on anything!
-    Study for the French exam
-    Study for the calculus exam
-    Re-read Antigone (approx 50 pages)
-    Read all of New Destinations (Approx 270 pages)
-    Revise the paper on My Life Philosophy
-    Revise the research paper on Darwin
-    Revise the paper on Epicurus and Singer
-    Revise, again, the letter to DeFleur
-    Write an introduction to my portfolio
-    Write an “epilogue” to my portfolio
-    Run
Revise = rewrite, generally

So that's quite a lot of writing. The two exams are this thursday back to back. All the papers are due on the 6th for english. And the immigration one is due on the 7th. That's annoying isn't it?
Well, then at the end of english class today he handed back the research papers on darwin and i thought i was going to get a horrible grade bc i wrote it from 3AM-7AM. (Planned and outlined the essay earlier that night) Then i never bothered to re-read it. Turns out i got an A-. That really made me feel good. So now i am really looking forward to writing more. Isn't that lovely? Yeah. Bye.

On a different note, indoor track season has begun :). Everything is great. I ran for the first time since last saturday and i didnt feel all too bad. We went on a 60 minute fast paced run. Then we lifted and did drills. I am going to be so sore tomorrow though but that's fine. Coach said that only 40 people on the track team get to come back early from winter break (out of 90+ kids). She said it will most likely be those people who placed during xc, which means not ME. =D. That is sort of fantastic because it means i get 2.5 weeks longer of a break. !! Ah yes.
Im listening to classical music on my dad's mp3 player/FM radio. It's good. It helps me stay awake.

later

hi

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 02:19:48 GMT

The break was too short but it's okay because there will be other breaks.
School isn't bad anyway and i am looking forward to going back and finishing off this semester. :)
My little brother turned 10 today and i realized how old he is now. I remember when i was 10 and i thought i was all old and evrything. He is with his group of friends and stuff and i could picture them all when they are teenagers in high school about to graduate and heading off to college. Haha.. im excited to see the future for my little brother. Cool. Yep.
I didn't get much work done except for read some metamorphosis and do half of the rediculously long calc hw. I hope i dont get a headache in the bus on my way to bing so i could actually read the book for sociology. Arrr i have to write 2 6 page essays by Dec 7th and edit 4 other essays for my final portfolio for english by dec 7th. That's okay.
Hm... i suck at cross training. :)
Ahh... okay. lkgh;adfjglfhd;gh;lAJLHJGKNFGLK
kjn;lfg
bye.

Wow again

Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:13:08 GMT

I just realized I lived a dream.
It happened. I made it happen. With the help of other, of course, but I did it.
I ran cross country for the binghamton bearcats. :) (and now there's still at least two more seasons of track left!)

This is truly amazing.
I was able to run at every single meet, uninjured (or so i believe). I was able to run at conferences, regionals (eh..), and ECACs. Im glad coach was able to see my potential and allowed me to run all those times.
My most memorable races were Paul Short run and the Albany invite. At paul i PRd in the 5k and in the 6k with a great time. Then at albany i was put in the varsity race and PRd again in the 5k with my PB of 19:23? I dont even know. Haha. Then my times started to suck again but thats okay. I had some great runs during practice and endured some hardcore d1 xc workouts. I got so much stronger (and heavier... well, not so much). Man. I met some great new friends and interesting people. It was all really truly fantastic. I really hope i'll be doing the same thing for the next three years. I want to see what i am capable of. I want to break 19 now :).

Okay. :)
I am still living a dream now. Living dreams is pretty cool.

hi

Sun, 11 Nov 2007 19:26:07 GMT

This weekend was good. I could have ran a whole lot bettter on Friday if i hadn't pulled an all nighter on wednesday, the night youre supposed to get the best rest. The paper i wrote wednesday nightt was so bad. I didn't bother to read a word i wrote once i finished bc idk. It was just bad.Oh well who cares.
Anyway, friday was the coaches race for regionals (aka all runners who aren't top 7 on their team). I came in 18th place with a time of 20:03. It was coldd and my legs felt weak from not having slept on wednesday and getting only about 7 hours of sleep on thursday night plus a very long tiring bus ride to Boston massachusetts. So that means it wasnt too bad. I think if i had been better rested i could have ran faster than 19:30 and perhaps been the first bearcat on the team to finish. Yeah.
The girls at regionals ran really well. They placed 16 out of 39 teams. It was fun being there. I saw steve murdock who runs for syracuse there which was really awesome. He was sitting like 2 feet away from me. I used to be obssessed with him last year bc i thought he was like the god of running. He was alright.
Soo the next meet is this weekend at vannyy. Its the IC4A something or other champs. And im so excited to run there. I believe coach and lauren and perhaps some other dobbs runners will be coming to watch. And my family too. I want to do really well. It's going to be a 5k. I would really like to be under 20 min but going under 20:15 would be okay too. Im going to get lots of sleep this week so i can perform my best.
Uh okay. Im tired. bye.
:)

Me

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:28:07 GMT

This was probably the worst weekend ever.
Some parts were ok.
I didn't get anything important done.
I wish it was thanksgiving.
I was really sad today on my walk to the events center and on my walk back.
Peanut butter by itself sucks.
J'ai soif.
It's really 1am. But it's 12am.
I woke up at 2pm today. But first i woke up at 8.
Last night, while i was doing my laundry at 2am these kids came up to me and asked me to be their photographer. They dressed up and had different props and a back drop. They wanted pictures for a scrapbook. They said they liked my phototaking skills. It was an interesting night. Umm. Shit.
I have to do this english paper but i have no motvation to do it. None what so ever. Boy.
Ugh. Why do i get like this sometimes? I wish i had motivation all the time.
Great so now i've left myself 3 days to write a super ridiculous 6 page research paper. I don't know how im going to do it. hopefully tomorrow i will be motivated.
I hate calculus i decided. It's stupid and boring. I dont want to major in anything that will require me to do calculus ever again.
So that;s that.
Bye.

So it was todayy

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 23:08:05 GMT

im so happy! coach called and told me the boys got 2nd in the section beating pawling and bronxville! (but they were 3 points away from beating irvington and being 1st! ) And pat wortner made it to states! that's so awesome. Im really proud of them :).

The end.

Idea

Fri, 02 Nov 2007 02:16:34 GMT

I want to make a collage of all the doodles ive made all over my notebooks and papers. I might have posted about this before. But yeah. I think it would be interesting. Or maybe even just save them somewhere.
Today i had a very good 60 minute run. I was mostly out by myself on the down vestal road then to the right route. The weather was beautiful and the sky looked pretty.
I sort of regret not doing anything fun on halloween night. The whole team went dressed up to mike's party and then to the rat to dance. that would have been really fun. I wasn't having a good day though. Wait, thats no excuse. I ended up going to bed at around 4am and not really gerting that much work done anyway. On the upside, i dont have any candy in my possession meaning that i will remain healthy.
I realized that i run a lot better when i dont eat that much. Maybe. Today all i had at around 1pm was a plain bagel, cookie, and a bottle of strawberry milk and i felt fine during the 60 min run and then lifting. And i wasnt even hungry after. I think what works for me is to eat light in the AM and during the day and then finish up the day with a big dinner and chocolateee! Yum.
I am glad it is almost the weekend. Maybe i will do fun things this weekend. I want to go to a frat party or the rat drink and dance. Or maybe not drink. Ive been testing out different things lately. This week i decided i will not wear any type of makeup for a whole week and see how it goes. It is actually really nice. I get to rub my eyes whenever i want and wash my face all the time without having to reapply any makeup. Its somewhat hard though. I think ive been wearing makeup since 9th grade. Hm. So i think for the rest of the year i will not drink anything alcoholic. Sooner or later i will try to give up cookies/delicious treats for a week. I think i will do that next week actually. The cookies here are so good. Chocolate mcadamian nut chocolate chip cookies of joy.
I have nothing left to write about. Oh wait. English class was ok. I realized that sometimes the kid who i think is a wrestler that says "Do you see what i am saying?" all the time actually has good points. But then they are always defeated. He makes himself sound rather intelligent. So does that other kid. I dont remember his name. I realized i dont know the names of about 80% of the ~10 kids in my english class. or any class for that matter.

Goodnight.

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 06:48:40 GMT

OMG im so excited about the high school sectional race this weekend. i wish i could go watch it. Oh me oh myy >.<
!

Perhaps i could... hmm

Thu, 01 Nov 2007 02:57:35 GMT

WORST HALLOWEEN EVER.

Hooray

Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:09:12 GMT

I am very glad that i got an a minus on the english paper i wrote about before. I danced in the bathroom and everything. Yay!
I need to start finding more time to study for French so i can master the grammaire.
English takes up so much time. I have to write a research paper now on evolution, darwin, and modern sociology... basically.
Calc optimization problems are such a bitch. find an equation of the line through the point (3,4) that cuts from the first quadrant a triangle of minimum area. Answer: 4x + 3y - 24 = 0. Show how you got the answer. To be graded as part of mondays exam. Fuck youu.
Today amnesty was really funny. We had to come up with ideas for Tshirts. Freedom of speech is a human right. and then the words tit poppycock tallywacker defleur. Defleur is the school's president. Everyone was scared to use the name but we decided we should anyway. We'll see what happons.
So yeah. That would be oll.

Good day.

Hahahahaha

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 04:45:47 GMT

Life comes at you fast
hah

It's easy to laugh nowadays.
I liked today it was very productive. As days usually are when i have no practice. I traveled all over and discovered new places. It's good to explore. I also ate delicious treats. And i got a birthday card from my family that sings "im walking on sunshine". I am very happy about that. I will cherish the card for ever. Okay. I had more to write but i have other things to do.
It's all good.

No subject

Sun, 28 Oct 2007 19:31:11 GMT

Things weren't that great so i just wont really write about much..
so i came in 47th out of 81 at 20:14 9th for the team. Which sucks. But i wasnt really upset about it. Team came in 5th of 9. Everything was okay though. Coach k went to see the race and that was really awesome :D. The course was bleh and it was rainy and humid and gross. Umm yeah. Im eighteen. Bye i have lots to do today.