![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
g0_t0_sleep's journalLog in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more
| You are viewing g0_t0_sleep's journal Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |
 | |
|
I dont know. I sit in bed with my feet up in the air and count to one thousand while humming a happy tune. hmm is that possible. i don't think you can hum and count in your head at the same time... |
|
| |||
|
( 2007 ) Today is the last day of the year two thousand and seven. Um it was a great year. I really think 2008 will be an even better year in different ways. So some resolutions for the upcoming year: 1. write on my lj more but make the entries friends only or private. It's fun to read back to what youve written. I realized anyone in the whole universe could read this stuff so non-public entries would be just great. 2. work harder in school so i can get REALLY good grades instead of just good ones with little effort. 3. train smart and dont ignore injuries. 4. run sub 5:20 for the mile, sub 2:30 for the 800, run sub 11 for the 3k ... etc. 5. eat healthier so i could actually run that well. 6. speak up in class. 7. form actual opinions 8. learn more about the world. 9. read books that aren't assigned 10. play the guitar 11. get more than 500 in tips this summer 12. make money 13. give people gifts and write letters 13.5. get over this cold asap hm we'll see.
|
|||
| |
|
This break is going very well. I'm very relaxed and just run, play and eat all day which is pretty much the life. I also can't wait to go back to binghamton on the 11th. :D And then for the semester to begin on the 26th? awesome awesome awesome |
|
| |
|
I wonder what would happen if you made a wish at 11:11.11 on 11/11/11, and there was a shooting star, and you were holding a four leaf clova |
|
| |
|
Holy moly i cant believe it!! Somehow i got an A in english. A freaking A. The highest possible grade. In english. With 1 of the hardest professors. Woww. he must have really liked my portfolio. Haha oh my. I guess i really did work hard even if it was bc of extreme procrastination. I have yet to find out my calc grade. i hope its an A too. but it wont be bc i got too distracted during finals week. oh well. the end. |
|
| |||
|
That's it. 2007 has officially been the most ... 'eventful?'... year of my life. I'd what to call it. Holy moly. My last night in bing was definately memorable and obv not memorable but it mostly was and it was quite a fun time. I got pretty good at being in the city 'alone' carrying heavy luggage with no wheels from port authority to grand central... to dobbs. Uh. bye:)
|
|||
| |||||||
|
I don't technically miss anything because everything is there. GODAMNIT. GODMAN IT. GOD. DAMN. IT. I feel really sad right now and of course i cannot figure out why. There is the one thing that would make my life complete happiness. The one thing I need. It's so fucking hard to get though. Fuck you. You are making me miserable. Not miserable, but I could be more of me if i wasnt so hindered by this shit. You fucking shit i fucking hate you you ruin eveyrthing. EEEGGGHHHHAasggh. Too bad you cant know what i am talking about unless you are cool and you do. Well, fuck you fuck you fuck you i am going to win and you will die and i will finally be free and fuck you. I might be turning into a psycho. Not really. So much has been going on in my life and i havent really told anyone except maybe gail because i dont trust people. I was brought up that way. Dont trust anyone only your immidiate family members. Alright. I dont tell them much either though. Fuck i wish i wasnt so reserved. I kind of really want to just post an autobiography of my life for these past two weeks. Nothing feels real. Sometimes i dont know what drives me to do things. I do think i am turning psycho. College does that to you. And money. Okay three things, college, money, and boys. The boys thing doesnt really turn you psycho but makes the psychoness come out. It's hard to have good feelings when you are turning psycho. I am coming home sometime this week poss before friday. The only thing i am looking forward to is running in dobbs again, and doing the lifting workouts at the gym, and watching the team compete in indoor races. Everyhting about running is the complete opposite of everyhting that makes me psycho. When i run i am so sane. I am so free. There is nothing hindering me from running as best as i can. Running is where i can escape this psychoness reality bullshit fuck. Goddamn i love to run. And i have gotten a heck of a lot better at it during my time here at binghamton. The two things that i am most thankful for aboiut being in bing are becoming better at running and becoming better at english. I guess people make me nervous unless they are people who know everything about me, or mostly everything. It's hard to tell people things about yourself. Soemtimes you just gotta do it. People are dumb and cannot figure it out for themselves. It's how people are. Everyone is selfish. And only loves themselves. That only makes people even more psycho. It's okay though. If everyone is psycho, then whats psycho but normalness. Uh fuck i decided to not study for this fucking calculus final. I'll just wing it. Who gives a fuck. I dont, so no one else will either. I would ignore this post. I think im just going through some hormone inbalance in my body. Christmas is soon. And the hectic year which was 2007 will finally be over. 2008 better bring more peace in my life.
|
|||||||
| |||||
|
This had probably been the best finals week i will ever experience in my life. I <3 collge. I am in the midst of writing my final take home for soc which is due in about 2 hours. It's not even tkaing me that long to write. I shouldve started it earlier. Ow. Hmmm okay. Yay.. I still dont know how im coming home for winter break. I know that im going to come back early though. Eeeh im so exitedd.
|
|||||
| |
|
It's snowing so much i feel so jolly. I thought things were going badly. But now the "things always turn out fine in the end" thing seems to have come back into my life. This is good. I am excited to train this winter. I am excited for a lot. Things will be good and better than butter. I still need to figure out how im coming home this break... hmm. |
|
| |||||||
|
This has been one hell of a year. 07. 2000 + 7. Anyway, i feel dizzy and extremely fatigued. I still have to write my freaking analytic 6 page paper and finish the intro and epilogue to my english portfolio for tomorrow. And finish this bullshit french essay. Fuck i want this to be over so badly. I really don't know how i am going to stay up all night doing this. Im running on few hours of sleep bc i like to fuck myself over. And also running on vault and skittles, which i think are whats causing the dizziness and fatigue. I wish i didnt care that much about making papers sound good. Or that i could make papers sound good with little effort. French papers, at least. This is painful. I am going to sleep all day on friday. This is what i wanted though. So i should stop complaining and just do it. There's all of life ahead of youu. Ahh. :) I cant wait until life. I better go follow my life philosophy now. Ugh classical music sucks. Is there any other type of music that is just music with no words on the radio. God. -bye. :]
|
|||||||
| |||||
|
I'm losing myself. I know i can get this project done and i will and it will be good. I need a break, but really i just need an extra week in college but without any classes. I can't fully comprehend what is going on now. I need to slow down. I need to take it easy. But there's so little time. People don't like me. God. Sometimes roommates can be really good at making you feel like shit. But hey, someone's gotta do it. Agh i just wish i was on top of everything now and this wouldn't be so difficult. I am generally really happy with myself now. Somehow it works out. I guess it's because i know me. I wish other people knew me.
|
|||||
| |||
|
I think i might be setting myself up for disaster. I hope that somehow i'll be able to write all the fucking essays this week. I wish i could write them all tonight and get it over and done with and be free. On a different note, xc parties are awesome fun. Rubiks cube. What i need to do now is stop thinking and start writing. Maybe in this state of mind i'll be capable of creating some great essays. Alright let's do thiss.
|
|||
| |||
|
I like my life. I just ate the most transfatty ice cream sandwhich but only the cookie part bc charmy ate the ice cream part. Mmhm. I actually hope i get to come back early during break. I kinda like being here. :) I feel like this is the end of the year, but it's not, it's only the end of the semester. There's still a whole new semester ahead and it is going to be better than the last. Oh yeah i am not motivated to work tonight so i decided i just wont. I'll work very hard though on friday, saturday, and sunday on my english portfolio. My legs are so sore. I love running and i love lifting and taking ice baths and rolling out and stretching. The calculus test was good. I solved one page full of Integral questions and then after looking back at it i realized i had done all of them wrong. Some needed to have the inverse trig stuff done to them and others i forgot to find the denifite integral. It was all over the place but i fixed it. So i give my test to the teacher and she looks at all my answers and says wow paulina this is wonderful its beauutiful wow great job. then she looks at the last problem and she says that i solved it wrong (the area bounded by x not the area above the x axis) so she gives me the test back so i could re do it. This teacher is awesome. Shes a strange lady but she is just awesome. :) :) :) :) c'est tout.
|
|||
| |||||||
|
Earlier this week (as in, yesterday) i felt really overwhelmed with all the work im supposed to do before dec. 7th. I made a list. What I need to do: - Write the 6 page analytic paper on Antigone So that's quite a lot of writing. The two exams are this thursday back to back. All the papers are due on the 6th for english. And the immigration one is due on the 7th. That's annoying isn't it? On a different note, indoor track season has begun :). Everything is great. I ran for the first time since last saturday and i didnt feel all too bad. We went on a 60 minute fast paced run. Then we lifted and did drills. I am going to be so sore tomorrow though but that's fine. Coach said that only 40 people on the track team get to come back early from winter break (out of 90+ kids). She said it will most likely be those people who placed during xc, which means not ME. =D. That is sort of fantastic because it means i get 2.5 weeks longer of a break. !! Ah yes. later
|
|||||||
| |
|
The break was too short but it's okay because there will be other breaks. School isn't bad anyway and i am looking forward to going back and finishing off this semester. :) My little brother turned 10 today and i realized how old he is now. I remember when i was 10 and i thought i was all old and evrything. He is with his group of friends and stuff and i could picture them all when they are teenagers in high school about to graduate and heading off to college. Haha.. im excited to see the future for my little brother. Cool. Yep. I didn't get much work done except for read some metamorphosis and do half of the rediculously long calc hw. I hope i dont get a headache in the bus on my way to bing so i could actually read the book for sociology. Arrr i have to write 2 6 page essays by Dec 7th and edit 4 other essays for my final portfolio for english by dec 7th. That's okay. Hm... i suck at cross training. :) Ahh... okay. lkgh;adfjglfhd;gh;lAJLHJGKNFGLK kjn;lfg bye. |
|
| |||
|
I just realized I lived a dream. It happened. I made it happen. With the help of other, of course, but I did it. I ran cross country for the binghamton bearcats. :) (and now there's still at least two more seasons of track left!) This is truly amazing. Okay. :)
|
|||
| |
|
This weekend was good. I could have ran a whole lot bettter on Friday if i hadn't pulled an all nighter on wednesday, the night youre supposed to get the best rest. The paper i wrote wednesday nightt was so bad. I didn't bother to read a word i wrote once i finished bc idk. It was just bad.Oh well who cares. Anyway, friday was the coaches race for regionals (aka all runners who aren't top 7 on their team). I came in 18th place with a time of 20:03. It was coldd and my legs felt weak from not having slept on wednesday and getting only about 7 hours of sleep on thursday night plus a very long tiring bus ride to Boston massachusetts. So that means it wasnt too bad. I think if i had been better rested i could have ran faster than 19:30 and perhaps been the first bearcat on the team to finish. Yeah. The girls at regionals ran really well. They placed 16 out of 39 teams. It was fun being there. I saw steve murdock who runs for syracuse there which was really awesome. He was sitting like 2 feet away from me. I used to be obssessed with him last year bc i thought he was like the god of running. He was alright. Soo the next meet is this weekend at vannyy. Its the IC4A something or other champs. And im so excited to run there. I believe coach and lauren and perhaps some other dobbs runners will be coming to watch. And my family too. I want to do really well. It's going to be a 5k. I would really like to be under 20 min but going under 20:15 would be okay too. Im going to get lots of sleep this week so i can perform my best. Uh okay. Im tired. bye. :) |
|
| |
|
This was probably the worst weekend ever. Some parts were ok. I didn't get anything important done. I wish it was thanksgiving. I was really sad today on my walk to the events center and on my walk back. Peanut butter by itself sucks. J'ai soif. It's really 1am. But it's 12am. I woke up at 2pm today. But first i woke up at 8. Last night, while i was doing my laundry at 2am these kids came up to me and asked me to be their photographer. They dressed up and had different props and a back drop. They wanted pictures for a scrapbook. They said they liked my phototaking skills. It was an interesting night. Umm. Shit. I have to do this english paper but i have no motvation to do it. None what so ever. Boy. Ugh. Why do i get like this sometimes? I wish i had motivation all the time. Great so now i've left myself 3 days to write a super ridiculous 6 page research paper. I don't know how im going to do it. hopefully tomorrow i will be motivated. I hate calculus i decided. It's stupid and boring. I dont want to major in anything that will require me to do calculus ever again. So that;s that. Bye. |
|
| |
|
im so happy! coach called and told me the boys got 2nd in the section beating pawling and bronxville! (but they were 3 points away from beating irvington and being 1st! ) And pat wortner made it to states! that's so awesome. Im really proud of them :). |
|
| |||
|
I want to make a collage of all the doodles ive made all over my notebooks and papers. I might have posted about this before. But yeah. I think it would be interesting. Or maybe even just save them somewhere. Today i had a very good 60 minute run. I was mostly out by myself on the down vestal road then to the right route. The weather was beautiful and the sky looked pretty. I sort of regret not doing anything fun on halloween night. The whole team went dressed up to mike's party and then to the rat to dance. that would have been really fun. I wasn't having a good day though. Wait, thats no excuse. I ended up going to bed at around 4am and not really gerting that much work done anyway. On the upside, i dont have any candy in my possession meaning that i will remain healthy. I realized that i run a lot better when i dont eat that much. Maybe. Today all i had at around 1pm was a plain bagel, cookie, and a bottle of strawberry milk and i felt fine during the 60 min run and then lifting. And i wasnt even hungry after. I think what works for me is to eat light in the AM and during the day and then finish up the day with a big dinner and chocolateee! Yum. I am glad it is almost the weekend. Maybe i will do fun things this weekend. I want to go to a frat party or the rat drink and dance. Or maybe not drink. Ive been testing out different things lately. This week i decided i will not wear any type of makeup for a whole week and see how it goes. It is actually really nice. I get to rub my eyes whenever i want and wash my face all the time without having to reapply any makeup. Its somewhat hard though. I think ive been wearing makeup since 9th grade. Hm. So i think for the rest of the year i will not drink anything alcoholic. Sooner or later i will try to give up cookies/delicious treats for a week. I think i will do that next week actually. The cookies here are so good. Chocolate mcadamian nut chocolate chip cookies of joy. I have nothing left to write about. Oh wait. English class was ok. I realized that sometimes the kid who i think is a wrestler that says "Do you see what i am saying?" all the time actually has good points. But then they are always defeated. He makes himself sound rather intelligent. So does that other kid. I dont remember his name. I realized i dont know the names of about 80% of the ~10 kids in my english class. or any class for that matter. Goodnight.
|
|||
fucked
i feel like shit.
productive/destructive
cheerful